Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Apologies to anyone who frequented this blog during my extended absence (I'm hoping no one did!). Things have been more than a little out of control lately; here's the scoop:

1) I'm now a freshman (well, technically, sophomore because of the number of credits I transferred in) at CSU, maintaining a 4.0. While I'm glad my GPA is that good, keeping it that good is killing me. I never run out of things to do/finish/work on.

2) My classes are fun, but hard. I'm taking an intro to biochem class which is really fascinating, but hard to study for--and no BSing allowed on assignments. The "no BS" rule isn't too hard to follow, but it does make it so that I can't whip out the writing as fast as I normally would. My intro to music history and lit is... well... boring. I'm not sure if I could devise a more pointless use of 50 minutes every MWF. I'm sure the teacher knows her stuff, but her presentation style simply doesn't work for me. As for math... I like math; I don't like the math that I'm doing right now, because it's all with a calculator. I hate not knowing how to solve a problem algebraically.

3) I feel awful for my organ teacher and accompanying teacher. I'm so swamped with everything that I don't get in half the practice time I should. I swear, I'm doing my level best, but I'm only getting the bare minimum of practice time in.

4) Choir is going very well--though I wish I could prepare for each practice just a bit more, the choir is progressing quickly. We're on to some polyphony that's about a moderate level of difficulty (Lotti's "Miserere Mei", at the moment) and working into the harder Gregorian chant.

5) The 2009 Colloquium was something else! It was incredible... music, music, more music. I learned so much so quickly. And hanging out with friends that I hadn't seen in forever was fantastic. I'm really hoping to go this year, but I don't think it's going to happen because of the price change. It's just too expensive, and I don't think I should be spending my money on something like that right now.

6) I'm still hiking, biking, running, etc. when I can, but not as often as I'd like. I'm trying to fix this, but... honestly, it takes time, and time isn't something that I have in plenty.

7) I'm still living at home, but I'd like to move out eventually. Not necessarily because of family friction--just because I'd really like to have my own place for a while. I don't know when or if it's going to happen, but it's been in the back of my mind (sometimes the front, depending on how my day is going) quite a bit lately.

8) I. Just. Can't. Wait. For. Summer. Break. I'm on spring break right now, and it's not bad, but... it's not really a break. I have too many assignments to finish, too much practicing to do, etc. It's a break from scheduled classes, but that's all--and, to top it off, Dad assumes that I have lots of time because I don't have class. So, I'm busy with chores on top of schoolwork.

9) I miss writing. I've done very little since school started because I've been too tired both mentally and physically. Writing is one of the best ways for me to relax, though, so I'm getting even more stressed out than usual because I don't have time to write.

10) I don't know where I'm going, and I hate not knowing. While I know that God's plan has something good in store no matter what I do, I can't help being a little frustrated that I'm so clueless. Everything sounds appealing, yet at the same time, nothing does. Should I get a second major? Minor? What should it be in? I like forestry, natural resources, biology, biochemistry, GIS, computer science, and... well, you get the idea. Should I work over the summer? Study abroad? Volunteer? Just take a break? Save up for a long vacation after I get out of school, or just have fun while I don't have to pay off my loans? Should I consider grad school, or should I finish my bachelor's and RUN? ... I don't know. I just don't know.

11) Odds are... I miss you. Friends from Indy, online friends with whom I've talked for hours and hours, family from CA... I miss you. College is so faceless--they try to create community in a huge campus, but it just results in lots of very specific groups. I don't need a lot of acquaintances that I share a few things in common with; I just miss having those two or three really close friends who are always there. Currently, I only have one friend like that, and that one may be leaving in the near future.

All right, so that's what's up with me. How are you?

P.S. I'm not sure how fitting the title of this blog is. College is sapping my fizziness bit by lethal bit...