Apologies

Apologies to anyone who frequented this blog during my extended absence (I'm hoping no one did!). Things have been more than a little out of control lately; here's the scoop:

1) I'm now a freshman (well, technically, sophomore because of the number of credits I transferred in) at CSU, maintaining a 4.0. While I'm glad my GPA is that good, keeping it that good is killing me. I never run out of things to do/finish/work on.

2) My classes are fun, but hard. I'm taking an intro to biochem class which is really fascinating, but hard to study for--and no BSing allowed on assignments. The "no BS" rule isn't too hard to follow, but it does make it so that I can't whip out the writing as fast as I normally would. My intro to music history and lit is... well... boring. I'm not sure if I could devise a more pointless use of 50 minutes every MWF. I'm sure the teacher knows her stuff, but her presentation style simply doesn't work for me. As for math... I like math; I don't like the math that I'm doing right now, because it's all with a calculator. I hate not knowing how to solve a problem algebraically.

3) I feel awful for my organ teacher and accompanying teacher. I'm so swamped with everything that I don't get in half the practice time I should. I swear, I'm doing my level best, but I'm only getting the bare minimum of practice time in.

4) Choir is going very well--though I wish I could prepare for each practice just a bit more, the choir is progressing quickly. We're on to some polyphony that's about a moderate level of difficulty (Lotti's "Miserere Mei", at the moment) and working into the harder Gregorian chant.

5) The 2009 Colloquium was something else! It was incredible... music, music, more music. I learned so much so quickly. And hanging out with friends that I hadn't seen in forever was fantastic. I'm really hoping to go this year, but I don't think it's going to happen because of the price change. It's just too expensive, and I don't think I should be spending my money on something like that right now.

6) I'm still hiking, biking, running, etc. when I can, but not as often as I'd like. I'm trying to fix this, but... honestly, it takes time, and time isn't something that I have in plenty.

7) I'm still living at home, but I'd like to move out eventually. Not necessarily because of family friction--just because I'd really like to have my own place for a while. I don't know when or if it's going to happen, but it's been in the back of my mind (sometimes the front, depending on how my day is going) quite a bit lately.

8) I. Just. Can't. Wait. For. Summer. Break. I'm on spring break right now, and it's not bad, but... it's not really a break. I have too many assignments to finish, too much practicing to do, etc. It's a break from scheduled classes, but that's all--and, to top it off, Dad assumes that I have lots of time because I don't have class. So, I'm busy with chores on top of schoolwork.

9) I miss writing. I've done very little since school started because I've been too tired both mentally and physically. Writing is one of the best ways for me to relax, though, so I'm getting even more stressed out than usual because I don't have time to write.

10) I don't know where I'm going, and I hate not knowing. While I know that God's plan has something good in store no matter what I do, I can't help being a little frustrated that I'm so clueless. Everything sounds appealing, yet at the same time, nothing does. Should I get a second major? Minor? What should it be in? I like forestry, natural resources, biology, biochemistry, GIS, computer science, and... well, you get the idea. Should I work over the summer? Study abroad? Volunteer? Just take a break? Save up for a long vacation after I get out of school, or just have fun while I don't have to pay off my loans? Should I consider grad school, or should I finish my bachelor's and RUN? ... I don't know. I just don't know.

11) Odds are... I miss you. Friends from Indy, online friends with whom I've talked for hours and hours, family from CA... I miss you. College is so faceless--they try to create community in a huge campus, but it just results in lots of very specific groups. I don't need a lot of acquaintances that I share a few things in common with; I just miss having those two or three really close friends who are always there. Currently, I only have one friend like that, and that one may be leaving in the near future.


All right, so that's what's up with me. How are you?


P.S. I'm not sure how fitting the title of this blog is. College is sapping my fizziness bit by lethal bit...

Commandment #1: Thou shalt not stray off pitch...

For it be necessary in order to gain a pure blend of voices, ay! *mock gasp*

I'm completely obsessed with choir, I know, I know. But - HOW CAN I NOT BE?! I have a great group of people to work with (enthusiastic, willing to learn, understand the basic principles of reading music and are swiftly understanding more), a great group of people teaching me, and a supply of fantastic choral music to share... I love choir. We're working on the Vaet 'O Quam Gloriosum' and Des Prez "Ave Verum". The Vaet's mostly to help them learn to listen to each other (we started that one before the "Ave Verum"); the Des Prez, to help them learn to blend (with the "Ave Verum", it really stands out if some people are singing in a different tone than others, so it's almost perfect).

--

In other news - I'M GOING TO THE COLLOQUIUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *spins around in wild, crazy-happy circles* I can't wait. Can't wait. CAN'T WAIT! 33 days!! THIRTY-THREE DAYS!!! AAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!! MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUUUUUUUUSSSSIIIIICCCCC!!!!

And I'm only going to be hanging out with two of the most awesome people in the world for that week, too. I couldn't ask for more. HUR-RAH!

Decision

I got into both the colleges I applied to...

Now here's the fun part. I got a full ride from one, but it's not the college of my choice. My college of choice is going to be really expensive, I'll have to work over summer breaks (which means no Colloquiums, workshops, vacations, etc.), I'll have to work while in school, I won't have a car, and I'll still come out of school very in debt. On the other hand, I could go to the school that gave me a full ride, get a car, live at home, and come out virtually debt-free - but the level of education I get won't be quite the same.

HOW IN THE WORLD DO I PICK?!

(no, I refuse to flip a coin for the answer)

Lent

Just thought I'd let y'all know:

no internet for me during Lent.

Over the hills and far away...

To quote my sister, "... That's where your brain is, Sam!"

It's where I'd like me brain to be, aye.

Too much stuff going on. Well, actually, it's not going on; it's that stuff that people want me to have going on. Apparently, word's leaked out that I can both sing/cantor and accompany... translation: "SAM YOU'RE SINGING FOR THIS MASS!" or "OOH, SAM, CAN YOU ACCOMPANY US AT THIS MASS?!" or "SAAAAAAAAM YOU SOUND SO LOVELY WILL YOU PLAY A PRELUDE FOR US BEFORE OUR SERVICE?!".

I'm a STUDENT.

I'm STUDYING.

And I'M SICK OF INTERRUPTIONS.

I have schoolwork to do. I have no intention of making any more commitments. People, it just isn't going to happen.

I'm going back to algebra now.

QWERTY

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You heard me, folks!

I'm... tired.

Life's insane. Rather than getting used to it, I'm doing the opposite - it feels like if I have one more activity or commitment that I have to think about, then I'm going to lose my mind and jump on the next plane to Alaska and live in an igloo for six months!

I don't mind the schoolwork. Heck, I like the schoolwork. It's everything else; the playing for Mass, applying to colleges, writing emails, practicing driving, babysitting, cleaning, preparing for vacations.... etc.... that are driving me crazy. And it's too icy outside right now to go running, so I can't de-stress that way - nor can I go biking or teach myself rollerblading, obviously. The only times I get outside when it's like this is when I take Kodi out on his walks.

I can't wait until I graduate (again). Just... I'm ready for another break. Ready for all these college applications to be sent in and done with. Ready to know where I'm going to go to school. Ready to have time to write again.

I'm so ready to be DONE.